Christmas after Christmas, year after single year, I dreamed and envisioned what this season would look like when I had a family.
(Admittedly I am a complete Christmas junkie.)
I’m not really fussed about the presents.
It’s the candles, the songs, the family, the baking, the traditions, people helping people, donations to the less fortunate and more.
The problem is though, I spent so many years dreaming and placing such high expectations on this season that no family was ever going to live up to it.
How do we dream yet hold our expectations with realism?
It is easy as a single person to see families running around and see only mirage of satisfaction.
It is easy to watch someone’s career highlights and not feel the pain of the late nights, the criticism and the growth needed for the capacity to live the life they have been given.
Enter yesterday I found myself extremely excited to put up my Christmas tree early.
I bribed my big Mr to allow me to put it up early because we are going oversees for 3.5 weeks and ‘I won’t get to enjoy my house all christmasified whilst overseas arriving back 2 days before Christmas.’
He said yes and the deal was made that we would spring clean and throw, sort and tidy things at the same time.
The moment and memory was beautiful my 18 month old had got the picture, he climbed up and helped hang ornaments on the tree. I put Christmas carols on, yes my dreams were starting to realise.
Not even five minutes after the angel had been placed, we turned our back and our little one was on our kitchen table (the tree was safe up there right?) and then the tragedy happened.
The tree with all my glass ornaments collected around the world, (when dreaming of the day with my family), was pulled down and all those ornaments smashed. The ones from England, the disneyland ornaments, even the beautiful Angel on top bought one dreaming day in Melbourne.
We both looked at each other, my Mr and I and we laughed and laughed. If I didn’t laugh I would have cried and we went to console our little one who was distraught.
Never when I was dreaming about Christmas with my own family did I think of a two year old and glass ornaments were a very bad combination.
Dreams
Expectations
Reality
This year I will be drawing a chalkboard tree and only the soft ornaments will make it out this year.
Those dreams of slowly waking to snuggles and kisses from my babies today my reality was poo painting and a whole heap of washing.
This year Christmas eve, my husband will be working night shift, so late night whispers and setting up the secrets of Santa, won’t be like how I had imagined…
My big thought this morning is this;
Keep dreaming
Write your vision and make it plain
Then allow the reality of life to colour in and outside of the lines.
If you hold on too tight to the outworking of your dreams, you will always end up disappointed.
Do you struggle with disappointment often?
Disappointed in people?
Disappointed in your boss?
Disappointed in your life?
Lower your expectations but…
But with a capital B.
Keep dreaming.
Poo painting happens,
Ornaments break,
Work is necessary,
It’s all part of the picture that I never dreamed would be the beauty of normal.
All my love
Amanda
