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how do I relax?

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Most mornings whilst we were away my husband and I did some form of stretching or a yoga class. We’re not hugely into the spiritual side of yoga, but the increased flexibility and teaching of mindfulness is beautiful. It has really helped me find a simple way to get back into exercise after having a baby six months ago.

One morning we ran out of our room so we could grab a coffee on our way to class and then we settled into a session with the most patient and kindest teacher we have each ever encountered.

To be truthful she was very plain.

Plain in a good way.

Simple.

Honest.

Descriptive.

Encouraging.

She wasn’t asking for attention or demanding our presence. She was soft, graceful and forgiving.

As we started the class, I looked out at the view above to see a mix of my current favour hues of colour.

A little bit of aqua, a lot of white and a smattering of grey. The smokey mist of an ocean that is wild, with green, blue, grey, black and white competing for my attention.

I took a deep breath and remembered simple things like colour that made me relax and get ready to find my strength again. Two pregnancies in three years have really taken their toll on my body and I am really determined to find ways to rediscover my strength again.

We moved into the routines and in the middle of a pose, she said something that I had never even considered before.The most perfect analogy for where I am at in my creative place and novice motherhood. She said this ‘Breathing is like a massage for your insides.’

Simple thought, profound results in my days since. I am the sort of person that hungers for a massage.

‘Charl, please rub my feet.’ I would say most evenings, even ‘Max, come here I will show you how to massage Mummy’s shoulders.’

My body holds stresses in specific places, but even more interesting is the power of breathing to help with stress and creative output.

As I want to react to a stressful situation, a simple breath is truly like a massage for my body on the inside. It is a quiet opportunity, to reconnect with peace and be slow in my reaction to stressful situations.

A deep breath.

A long breath.

It is a gift that we give to ourselves.

The art of relaxation can be founded on this simple statement from my yoga instructor. ‘Breathing is like a massage for your insides.’

A silly little thought in someways, but extremely liberating in the art of letting go and allowing peace to reign.

Are you struggling to relax?

Do you find anxiety is replacing peace in your days?

Why don’t you start with the basics, with me and take a deep breath and remember the simple things that you are grateful for.

Till we meet again tomorrow,

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Through the month of March I am joining Em and writing with these prompts from Life Captured inc
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The power of your story

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I’m not sure whether it is because we go away in a few days on holidays or whether there is some subconscious message but I am obsessed with all things coconut right now.

Coconut water, coconut milk, coconut oil…

Fresh, summery, health conscious and clean.

You may be the complete opposite to me and coconut makes you reel or even indifferent.

That is one of the key strengths of finding and knowing our own story. Your story, your preferences, your lessons learned, your weaknesses, your seasons of success, your moments of brokenness, all combine to bring your story into your today.

My coconut obsession is just a small and silly example but it is my story. Underneath that foreground fruit crush, is a heart that has battled an eating disorder, someone who has gained weight, lost it and then somehow found it again. Underlying that story is a little girl ballerina who was told she had the skills but just needed to loose weight.

Layer upon layer. Moments of beauty, moments brokenness, moments of victory.

My story.

What is your story?

What is in your today that is layered by opportunities and disappointments in your yesterday?

One of my greatest privileges of the last few years were the trips I took Thailand with groups of creative teachers to teach kids in the slum of Bangkok. These moments were so vivid because I saw first hand the power of creativity to bring healing and amazing sense of self esteem to those who have very little.

Creativity and insight combined together in a powerful way to impact their stories. Young men who prostituted at night time hung out with hip hop dancers who wanted nothing but to see them thrive and have fun. Young girls who were exposed to drugs and gambling at very young ages pulled out canvas’ and painted. They got given cameras and took photos, they discovered the beauty in the midst of the ashes of their stories through creativity.

One if the greatest ways that my story has found perspective and life is through creativity. I have taken the time to process my years of disappointment and seasons of addiction through writing, painting, sewing, crochet, singing, dance…

My life has been healed day in and day out by the power of creativity and a romance with the Creator of all.

How about you?

Where is your story at today?

Do you need recovery and insight?

Keep expressing your story and find new ways to discover beauty amoungst ashes through the power of the arts. Find a new language to communicate what has you stuck.

Creatively discover your story and express it.

I am sure insight will follow.

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the inbetween

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Most nights this summer, as I have seen a flash of pink hit the sky, we have run out to our little position on the stairs and watched the sun say goodbye to the day. Lately there have been many bush fires, so the sunsets have been somewhat bittersweet. The bush fire smoke throws a pretty amazing filter over what would already be a beautiful sunset over our Shoalwater Beach.

Every night as the sun slinks behind the sea though, there is this moment of nothing that lasts a good minute before the throw of colour hits the sky canvas. As I wait there for the colour to come, it is so easy to turn and walk away. The one minute seems so much longer than it actually is.

Many people take photos of the sun circle half dipping into the ocean and others of the purple and pink paint thrown across the sky, but no one really notices the space of the in-between. No one really notices because they are waiting for the flashes of colour to appear. They have a hope that the aftermath of the sun setting will be as beautiful as the time before. Moments of beauty mixed with moments of waiting.

This week I have had many conversations with people who are tired of the in-between. They so desperately want to move forward into the future and live the life they are dreaming of, but they are stuck in this place of in-between. Waiting for something we desire so deeply is a difficult season in anyones life.

A lot of the conversations I have had this week have been with people wanting to get married and they have been waiting for a long time. The in-between.

How do we carry ourselves in the in-between moments of life?

When we are applying for jobs and they just don’t pull of?

When we so desperately want to change our status from single to married?

When we want to start a family and the second little line just doesn’t want to appear?

The in-between.

It is a terribly vulnerable place to stand and look into the distance waiting for the colours of the picture you had of your life. It is just easier to believe that it is just not going to happen and to turn and walk away. It is easier to stop hoping than to stay stuck in a place when the deferral constantly makes your heart sick.

In my seasons of waiting, I have had some years when I have done it well and other times I just got sad, angry and completely over it.

The one thing I was determined to do though was to never give up in that in-between place. I never walked away. Even when my hope was so low, I still faced the mountain before me and believed that there was some way through.

Finding friends who would stand and pray with me. Chatting with counsellors and using writing as a therapy to process and let go of the disappointment and anger. Staying in that uncomfortable place of expectation no matter the years I waited. Reaffirming myself with promises and dreams that tarried.

Whether it is a job, a husband, a realisation of a career you’ve longed for, a change in circumstance, a family. I acknowledge the pain you are feeling in that in-between place. I am asking you to turn and face the horizon though and look for new and beautiful colours to return again.

Have you stopped believing your dream for better days could come true?

I pray healing over that in-between place and hope you can find rest, not growing weary.

Today if you are in an uncomfortable waiting place, my prayer is that endurance would fill your days and the answer you have been searching for in your in-between would come quickly.

Speak soon,

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Learning to say no.

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I have found in my life it is often easier to just say yes than say no.

As a mother.

As a friend.

As a lover.

As a mentor.

Lately I have been really aware of how often I say yes to something when I know in my season I should have just said no.

Some call it boundaries, some call it protective behaviour, but for me it’s actually so I can say yes to the things I know I am meant to be focussing on this year.

Yes, to exercise.

Yes, to publishing my next book.

Yes, to time focused on my children and the season that is moving so quickly.

Yes, to my friends who engage and want to be part of my life.

Yes.

I cannot say yes to these things, important opportunities, if I don’t say no to that which distracts me.

No to long periods of time on social media.

No to worrying about what people think of me.

No to my toddler, even when a melt down is likely to ensue.

Sometimes we get a little stuck and are unable to see breakthrough in our everyday because we are saying yes to the wrong things.

Then sometimes we say no to the right things and the opportunities pass us by.

What are you saying yes to, that you know in your heart of hearts that you shouldn’t?

Maybe it’s your season like mine to start saying no a little more, so I can say yes to that which should be my priority.

Sincerely,

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Things I am ashamed of…

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There are many things that I have done in my life that I am ashamed of.

Little things
Big things
Forgiven things
Broken things.

Living in that place of shame though is one of the ugliest uses of my mind. I have asked forgiveness, let things go and moved forward in freedom.

It is not that easy for some though.

Just this week I was chatting with my husband and out of the blue a memory from highschool popped into my consciousness. (I honestly can’t believe I’m about to share this story here, because it is one of my most shameful moments of my teenage years but I believe deeply in this being a raw, authentic place of confession and lessons learned)

I remembered the day that a group of my friends, were in a stupid mood and we did something that I now know as one of the most terrible things I could do to someone.

Call it a mob mentality.
Call it wanting to be liked.
Call it immaturity.

It is a story I am deeply grieved by.

It was morning recess at high school, I was in year ten and we were a little bored and a lot of stupid.

We started to bully a boy who was in a younger class than us and we pushed him and his wheelchair towards the common outdoor area. Someone picked up the young boy out of his wheelchair and put him in the big green sulo bin. I remember laughing and walking away and then being terribly remorseful. Here I am today 20 something years later and I remember the overwhelming feeling of shame as I walked away.

I was a bully in highschool.
I wanted to be liked by the cool people.
The pack mentality took over my morals and beliefs about dignity for the common man and I did something so impacting to someone who was unable to even stand by himself.

This week I have been thinking about that young man.

Did I cause him deep emotional distress as an adult?

What is he doing now?

Does he remember the bullies at high school and think of my face as one of his enemies?

We all have shameful seasons in our teenage and young adult lives. It is part of the growing and maturing process, when we acknowledge that we have gone astray and reconcile our sins.

In steps mercy.
In moments of grace.
In lessons learned.
In deep rivers of maturity committing to living our days different.

A terrible story from my highschool days that I regret greatly.

What have you done that you regret?

What is in your past that no one knows about?

What fills you with shame?

We all deserve mercy.
We all deserve grace.
We all have made decisions we regret and deeply long for mercy.

The story of these two men standing on death row in Bali, has moved my heart with mercy this week.

“I Stand for Mercy” for The Mercy Campaign for Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran from TEN ALPHAS on Vimeo.

I stand for mercy because we have all made mistakes.

I was flying out of Bali the morning that these two men were caught in the airport. I was in the airport in the midst of the commotion and I have never forgotten the feeling of what could have been in my life, if I had made different decisions as a teenager. The whole week they were in the hotel next door to me, I could have walked past them without even knowing. In any different circumstances I could have been one of them strapped with drugs, a mule stuck in a pack mentality. A short sighted decision, with the most grave of consequences.

Yes, I hate drugs and the scourge it brings on our community.

Yes, I believe that we should be held accountable for our decisions.

But do I believe that death by firing squad is okay?

No.

Never.

I stand for mercy.

I stand for rehabilitation.

I stand for life.

What do you stand for?

Share this video and lets see whether we can help these two guys do the rest of their days different.

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