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36 weeks

patience

 

I promised myself, I wouldn’t count down the weeks.

I promised myself, I wouldn’t get frustrated and wish the birth of our second child early.

I promised.

Two days ago I broke my promise.

Fat, swollen ankles, legs that feel like they can’t take another step, piles of washing that I am struggling to carry to the line, another dinner waiting to be cooked.

I just want this baby out!

In the midst of my 36 week complaining, I have found a quiet little annoying word that has been growing softly from a whisper to a roar in my heart.

Patience.

The word resounds in a gentle sentence that settles me ‘Patience my dear child’

Gah!

I hate this word.

I have never been good at it.

I have an idea, I want to make it straight away.

I have a thought and it bugs me till it is expressed.

All those years of singleness nearly killed me.

It is in the midst of the wait though, that patience is formed.

It is in the midst of the in-between that our character is tested.

It is in the place of stretch that we become.

Patience can only be developed by moments of storm that produce the new season.

Patience is painful, but worth every moment of it’s heavy load.

I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature. Paulo Coelho

When will I ever learn to be content in the wait.

How are you going with waiting?

Smile…

Speak tomorrow

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The artist and the activist

 

 

sparcThis year I can’t attend the SPARC conference. The last two years I have been involved in the creative direction of this event and this year I will have a brand new human to look after.

Yesterday I was asked to write for their blog in the lead up to the event, in line with the theme for this year. ‘To Venture on Wider Seas’.

Here is my article about social justice and creativity.

The Artist and the Activist

One hot morning in the bowels of Bangkok’s sprawling slum, I walked tentatively with a group of young artists to the make shift studio we had set up.

Our challenge for two weeks was to run a creative arts day camp with kids who lived under bridges, who sniffed glue before their tenth birthdays, who often walked drugs across borders and little boys who were prostituted out each night by their older siblings.

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As we walked a rickety bridge, over steaming sewerage, we watched kids running down the alley ways excited about the new teachers in town and whispering that school over the next few weeks was going to be different.

Never before, had I been so starkly aware of the power of creativity to bring beauty amongst ashes, as I did that morning walking to class.

Sitting down in the photography studio, I listened intently as the hip hop classes started, the graffiti cans start to shake (teaching students how to tag shoes instead of walls), fashion classes begin with tie dying t-shirts and the day camp had begun.

We were teaching the photography and design students, with older kids sent off around the slum, cameras in hand that we had collected to be given as presents for the kids to use after we were gone.

Thailand

The younger students in our class were getting their portraits taken today and we were printing photos for their parents as a present to take home to their make shift shacks.

In our over-shared, over-saturated worlds, we couldn’t fathom that parents of these students didn’t even have one photo of their child, no frames on the mantle piece, no moments captured and shared on instagram. They just had never had the opportunity.

My heart skipped a beat, as a three year old girl sat in front of me, piggy tales for days and a smile that could melt the coldest heart.

The interpreter sitting next to me whispered ‘A sex trafficker offered her mother $3,000 Australian dollars last week and her mother is considering her options.’

I clicked the shot and took as much care with printing the largest photo I could and framed it purposefully to give to her family. My heart sank knowing it might be the only photo that this family would ever have of their child.

The digital file of this girl still haunts me on my computer desktop. It reminds me on the days that I become a little flaky in my creativity, of the outrageous privilege I have had growing up in western society with every opportunity available to me.

How easy is it to think that we are the ones hard done by as creative artists?

I’m not paid enough, noticed enough, given enough, have enough of a platform…

Without these stories of perspective being told, it is easy to believe that we are the ones hard done by and indifference to a world that is broken and in bondage passes us by.

It is easy to fall into the pattern of indifference, where our creative pursuits and our desires are based in our own narcism rather than stretching ourselves to places where our craft becomes a weapon.

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“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.” Elie Wiesel

Are you indifferent as an artist?

Are you so focussed on your own story, that you have lost sight of the one sitting in your neighbourhood that you walk past everyday?

As artists, we have the capacity and potential to become provocateurs that shock people from just being in a culture and not questioning its power.

Imagine if a generation of artists used their opportunities to change culture, imagine if a generation of musicians wrote so powerfully that nations were moved, imagine if writers sharpened their craft so that people were changed by the words they penned. Imagine if film makers told stories in such a way, that people walked away from cinemas indelibly different.

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Imagine.

Imagine if we stopped comparing and competing amongst one another and used our skills to collaborate and bring a voice of strength and excellence.

I think the line between the artist and the activist is slowly growing dimmer and dimmer and that generation of communicators is rising.

A generation of provocateurs, who are more interested in telling another’s story, than finding a medium to vent their own.

Imagine.

The artist and the activist.

Interesting.

What if they were redefined as the same thing?

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shwrap

shwrap 4

Lately I have been playing around with a pattern I made up for little miss v. The pattern below is very loose and can be converted into a shwrap from any rug pattern and any sleeve pattern. It is more about the measurements of the rug, than the individual stitches, if you have made quite a bit in crochet you should understand my musings.

It is a combo of a rug, a cardigan and a baby cocoon wrap. It is perfect for a new little baby in winter and is surprisingly simple.

It is basically any crochet rug pattern, with two slits left to insert sleeves up the top and then finished off as a rug.

shwrap 3

Finished size newborn;

(mint green) 90cm across and 60cm deep.

1) Basically I did a half double crochet (2 chain at the end and turn) the whole blanket for the newborn blanket, until the blanket was 45cm long.

2) At the row that marked 45 cm’s deep, I half double crocheted in 36cm, then I chained two and went back to the start, turning again doing 4 rows like this, until I had a slit big enough for the sleeve.

3) Then I went to the 45 cm mark and started a new row with two chains and made the back between the two sleeves 18cm long, then I chained two and went back to the slit that was now made at the 36cm mark, repeating 4 times to create a back piece in the middle.

4) Then I started at the 54cm start (36cm first slit, plus 18cm second slit) with two chains and repeated the row again, to the end of the blanket, turned two chains and went back to the 54cm split and repeated 4 times.

5) At this point, my blanket now had two slits to insert two sleeves. (depending on the finishing size of your sleeves, you may need to make these slits a little bigger.

shwrap 1

Sleeve;

ch 29 Foundation row: 1 hdc in 3rd ch from hook. 1 hdc in each ch across. Ch 2. Turn. ( I added in a ribbed row cuff here: which is fpdc, bpdc repeat around)

next 2 rows: 1 dc in each st to end of row. Ch 2. Turn.

next row: 2 dc in first st. 1 dc in each st to last st. 2 dc in last st. Ch 2. Turn. Keep even till sleeve measures 19 cm’s. On last two rows omit the 2 chain at the end of each row.

6) Stitch the sleeve together under the arm, to the forearm. So it looks like a little tube.

7) Line up with the slit on the blanket and stitch around the shoulder of the sleeve.

8) Finish off the rows for an extra 8cm to finish off. I did a couple of rows of Half double crochet, then I did two ribbing rows; fpdc, bpdc repeat around to make the ribbed cuff. (on the fawn wrap above I did 4 ribbing rows for detail)

9) Then I finished off the whole blanket with a row of half double crochet right around the edge to finish off.

shwrap 2

I hope you love it just as much as I do.

Feel free to share, use, do whatever.

Just make.

Love

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words

words

I am a words person through and through.

One of my great friends, who is my mentor, a fellow author and all round brilliant person, drove down to our shack today and we spent the day with tea, a storm and a two year old.

The sun may have been hiding behind the clouds, but one thing we were not short on was words.

Simple story telling words.

Deep wisdom filled words.

Funny tale type of words.

Dreaming kind of words.

Encouragement into our future kind of words.

We spoke for hours on end and I promise you there was not one word spoken about another in comparison. There was not one word spoken that pulled other writers down or other creatives compared too.

We spoke words of life.

These are my favourite days.

There is nothing more discouraging for me to walk away from a conversation full of gossip, talking about others and tearing people apart.

I honestly abhor it.

It leaves me feeling dirty.

I am no saint.

I need to count the cost of my words often.

But I want to be thrifty with my words, knowing that they build both life and death.

I want to live a life of encouragement, truth and beauty.

I have been thinking about these words of late and the way that I handle my relationships.

Truthful; honest… not filling my conversation with over the top untruthful flattery. Being real, being authentic, being truthful. Not saying things that I don’t mean, just to make the person like me. Careful Truthfulness. I am over flattery.

Gentle; more vulnerable…As a leader I want to be gentler with those around me and also mostly myself.

Fearless; Stepping away from people pleasing…I want to be a person who is Brave in my conversations, fearless of people and okay with who I am. Reminding myself that I am enough. I am sick of trying to impress others with my words. I want to be truly authentic.

truthful

What are your words for this season?

Let us be a people that choose our words carefully.

Speak tomorrow

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Taking Stock: June

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Making: 30 second orange cake with my Mums new Thermomix. I just added chocolate icing to make it Jaffa Cake.

Cooking: Soups like nobody’s business. My favourite last week was a Tomato minestrone

Drinking: Sleepy Time Tea, hoping to get lots of zzzzz’s before miss V comes to town.

Reading: I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou. So inspired!

Wanting: to slow life down and speed it up all at the same time. Slow down how fast Max is growing, speed up the pending arrival of Miss V.

Looking: At all the sales on airfares at the moment and so sad that I am grounded.

Playing: Tetris in our tiny shack trying to fit in everything we need for the new baby.

Wasting: water; showers are a 8 month pregnant Mummy’s poison.

Sewing: My nephews School Jacket, after a particularly rough game of football.

Wishing: My sister an amazing trip around the world that she is just about to embark upon.

Enjoying: Chocolate, a little too much. Fundraising chocolates are a pregnant Mumma’s worst nightmare.

Waiting: To hear back from a magazine that I have been asked to write for.

Liking: The winter sun coupled with the beach. (this time of the year is actually the best where I live.)

Wondering: Why God made monkeys with bright blue bottoms.

Loving: The network I started with two great friends Kinwomen, it is so exciting to see little things unfold.

Hoping: That the SPARC conference goes amazing this year, I can’t believe I’m missing out!

Needing: One more letter for my Yestember ‘Dear single self’ series. I have 29! yes.

Smelling: Green Thai Curry that is in my slow cooker as I write.

Wearing: A hoodie from Sevenly.

Following: The This Matters Project; a film competition in my city, which I think is brilliant.

Noticing: The larger the internet grows, the more narcissism is rife.

Knowing: That I was changed by the movie ‘The Fault with our stars’ and now how do I live it…

Thinking: About the new series and the 6 contributors who will be writing each week in the month of August for this website.

Feeling: So grateful for all the little events I have been a part of over the last couple of months and the new people I have met.

Bookmarking: Not much at the moment, I have been really focussed on keeping this little site pumping.

Opening: Cadbury’s Marvellous creations.

Giggling: This video has had me cracking up over and over. When you are dying your hair, get it on!

http://youtu.be/B2PBNVw97w8

(I found this Taking Stock idea first from Em here)

Somedays all it takes is a little bit of time to celebrate the ordinary to feel perspective shift.

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