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her story is our story

bethanyLet me introduce Bethany;

My friend, a young, passionate woman I have mentored and known personally for many years. The last two years have seen radical change in her life. She started a blog two years ago Not All Who Wander.

Capture readers have read her story here in many different ways, but today I have asked her to write a guest post about a real story, an everyday story from Greece, where she is working with women who have been trafficked into prostitution.

Her story is our story.

Be prepared to be wrecked.

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bethFor the past two months I have been in Greece working with churches and aide organisations. For the past two weeks I have been in Athens teaching English and documenting the stories of Refugees from Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, and Syria.

I am a story teller, a bower bird collector of human tales, a seeker of truth and I have been on a journey that has changed my life.

I have heard stories of boats being turned back to sea and people left to paddle with their shoes, I have met a teacher who has lost his whole family and remains on The Taliban’s wanted list for daring to bring education to village children in Pakistan, I have seen the scars left from bullet holes on a mans head who took shelter with an American soldier in Iraq.

I have cried. I have prayed. I have felt guilty for never caring to know. I have planned the ways I want to help. Ways to help when I get home, when I have more control over the variables. When it is safe.

Wednesday last week my time in Greece had come to an end, I was leaving the next day. I had my stories, I had my pictures, I would do with them what I could.

And then it happened, a woman, my friend walked in with a baby on her hip and told me there was one more girl who wanted to tell her story, I wasn’t prepared, I almost said no.

How could I have said no?

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It was her birthday, 24 years old, a year younger than me; a refugee from Afghanistan who had travelled across three countries in the back of a truck with 17 other people, no food or water, and then boarded a boat to Greece.

Once in Greece her smuggler locked her in a room and told her he wouldn’t let her out until she gave him all her money (she had saved 16,000Euro), she was free’d into the streets of Greece with nothing.

Over the next five years her husband had formed a heroin addiction and left her with three children, two under the age of two. After he left she was kicked out of the room they were renting.

For 2 months she lived in a park with nothing but a blanket to call her own, she would often be arrested by police for living there and then released the next day completely unheard when she asked for help from them. She now lives in a basement room where her baby gets sick from the mould and she pays the same amount each month as a whole apartment would cost if she had the right tax number to rent herself.

She has no food and no money for diapers or baby things. To try and make rent she wakes up every day and searches through the trash from 5am, hoping to find things to sell. She does not make enough; she is racking up a debt to the owner; soon she will be kicked out again.

“When I ask people for help, the men tell me they will help me only if I do something for them.” she looked me in the eye.

“Do you understand?” she asked.

I understood. We were living in the red light district, more than ever, I understood.

“I heard that you were here and I have come to you because nobody else will help. Please can you help me?”

Without thinking I heard myself promising I would help her.

Three generous friends, a bunch of flowers, a hamper full of baby items, and a purse full of money later, and we stood singing her happy birthday.

“This is the best birthday I have ever had,” she said. I couldn’t fathom that either.

We swapped contact details and I watched her leave. I was completely wrecked. I had not done enough. I could never do enough. I get to walk away. I get to go home, she doesn’t. Her children don’t.

And so I didn’t.

Myself and six people from my team of 17 decided to cancel our flights and stay for 10 more days to make good on my promise to help.

Over the next two days we met with her twice and yesterday we went to see where she was living. We now know she wants to learn English and Greek so she can get a job and her children can get an education.

Tomorrow we are going to a real estate agent to find her an apartment and rent it for her so she can come to English and Greek lessons and not have to spend her days searching through the trash.

But the story does not end there. It does not end with her, it does not end with me, the story can continue with you. And so I will extend the same invitation to you that she originally extended to me.

“Will you help me?”

Renting a house requires more money than I have, and maybe more than you have, but it is not more than we have together.

You can be part of the story by donating below or by sharing this post and extending the invitation to your friends.

Smile often,

Bethany
Written June 9th 2014, Greece.

(Photo one of Beth by Ellie Youngs, Photo of Beth in Warehouse by Ely Terriquez, third Portrait photo by Kirsten Sejersen)

To all my readers here on Capture30days.com, you can contribute straight to this family’s situation today through Paypal and all monies will go straight into this situation.








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A beautiful mess

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beautifulbeautiful mess one

The ambience, the mood, the arrangement of belongings is all very important to me when I start to create.

I want to sit down at an organised desk, a cafe hidden in the corner or in a space that is just right. Airy, light, a soft hum of good music and a cup of good coffee.

In a perfect scenario every bit of housework is done, a candle is lit and then I can start the creative project I am working on.

Enter real life.

These days that scenario never happens.

I am learning to create amongst the beautiful mess.

It doesn’t become an excuse not to clean or spend time sorting but I am learning that in a family of soon to be four, there will always be washing, there will always be dishes, I will find helicopters in my handbag and it makes me secretly smile.

I am learning to embrace the messiness.

Every time I think I have a routine down, my husbands roster changes and my son goes through a growth spurt.

Every time I sigh, glad to see the sink empty of dishes another plate lands there that was forgotten from a back room.

Every time I smile longingly at the bottom of the washing basket, a new load of old gym clothes surfaces from the back of the car.

Life.

It is messy.

But it can be beautiful.

How do we live inspired in the muddle of the mess?

How do we take a deep breath and not respond out of haste?

How do we find time to refresh and recalibrate?

This is my pursuit.

This is my desire.

To capture life at its fullest, yet to live authentically honest about the firetrucks I find under my carpet, that sting my feet.

This is why I write, this is why I search, this is why I come back here each day.

To continue to look for inspiration in the midst of the ordinary.

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Breathe in, breathe out

20140607-212006-76806151.jpgWell the time has come where my two year old has decided going to bed is the worst idea in the world.

Until three days ago, our routine was slick and I could get him to sleep in less than five minutes.

Then something changed.

His obsession with fire trucks maybe, his awareness of the world around him grew or a growth spurt…

Something changed, I know not what…and oh have we battled.

Last weekend in church the message was so great, it was all about living below our stress lines in life and what fills and drains us.

I walked into this week not feeling stressed at all and will walk out of it feeling like I am redlining.

Tonight after a two hour battle to get him to stay in bed I felt like a complete failure as a parent.

Yesterday I didn’t even want to write I was so deflated.

Then a few minutes ago, ready to give up my writing, (who can write when all you feel like doing is crying) I remembered my list.

What drains you?

What fills you?

Last Sunday after the message I wrote a list with my husband of what drains us and what fills us.

I started to recall those things on my list.

Flowers; a friend bought me flowers yesterday and my house has little pots of flowers all around.

Coffee and a magazine; Charl (my husband) bought me a magazine this week on his way home from work.

Time alone; charl is on nightshift and although it kinda sucks, I am in fact revelling in silence right now.

Writing; forcing myself right now and suddenly I am breathing deeper.

Worship music; check, tunes that bring life into my moments.

And my list went on.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

My perspective of Mothers of toddlers has drastically changed.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change and to change that which I can.

Thanks for the reminder

Signing off, I have a movie to watch.

Speak tomorrow

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let your gentleness be evident

be gentle

Be gentle.

How often do we hear that phrase?

Hardly ever…

Our culture implores us to be bold, to be brave, to be successful, to be brilliant, to be excellent…

What about gentle?

Mostly, what about being gentle with ourselves.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and I often find internal dialogue with myself, anything but gentle.

Yesterday, I was tired from a speaking engagement the night before and a radio interview in the morning. I had a two year old running around my feet, I had someone coming to be mentored, a pile of washing to boot and in the back of my mind ‘What possibly could I make for dinner that is inspired?’.

As I walked the washing out to the line, (rephrase: waddled the washing out to the line) I found myself tired, overwhelmed and so not wanting to hang out this heavy load.

I wasn’t gentle with myself, I was heavy worded, I was disheartened, I was tired.

As I stood at the line, hanging out three loads of washing, I reminded myself. ‘You are in your third trimester, you are doing your best, you are enough.’.

That change in inner dialogue, changed my whole perspective of that very moment.

Someone who is so used to getting twenty five things done in a day, was proud of getting the washing hung.

Somedays, just hanging the washing out and making a great environment in your home, is enough.

We need to be gentle with ourselves.

I love Philipians 4:5

It says this;

‘Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.’

To All.

That means everyone.

That means you.

Be gentle with yourself.

Especially in the days that follow a really big moment in your life. A big project finished, a task completed that has taken months, a conversation that was really intense.

Be kind and nurture that precious heart of yours.

Be gentle, tomorrow is another day.

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Feel

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One of the hardest parts of being human, is allowing ourselves to feel.

I mean really feel.

It is easy to pull away, shut down and build up walls so we can’t be hurt ever again…

but what if we felt deeply?

What if we allowed ourselves to feel?

What if we faced the vulnerability of our weakness?

What if we admitted we weren’t perfect and we let someone safe in to those places of lack?

What if we were honest with ourselves?

Unless we admit our vulnerabilities, we cannot face them and bring strength to those areas.

I had an amazing counselling session once where I was so embarrassed and frustrated as a leader at the emotional highs and lows of my journey.

The counsellor wisely said ‘If you don’t experience those highs and lows then you are unable to express them through your creativity either. Life is full of highs and lows and authentic, brilliant creatives allow themselves to feel both…the problem is ‘how do you learn to process  your emotions and live healthily with them as a leader?’

It is this thought that has stuck with me many years later.

I spent many years trying to push down and not feel my emotions but then they would come exploding out without any notice.

These days I am allowing myself the freedom to feel, but doing my best to bridle their power appropriately and finding the right spaces and people to express them.

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Through prayer, through counsel, through learning to just be quiet, through music, through exercise, through fun…

Allowing myself to feel has been one of the biggest emancipations of my adult life.

The crazy thing is, when I was trying to shut down my emotions they came out anyway.

My pursuit of not feeling…always ended it crazy days of out of control emotions anyway.

As creative beings we were born to feel. Don’t be ashamed of the emotions that take over, find ways to process them and become more adept at expressing them in appropriate ways.

Feel.

Speak tomorrow

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