Author: Amanda Viviers

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Small changes in our family that have changed everything

Have you ever thought “surely things need to change?”

As a family, we have been intentionally shifting the atmosphere in our house. Little steps, small decisions to let go of our days and embrace the moments as the season shifts again. Winter to Spring, three-year-old to four-year-old.  Sleep deprived Mum of toddlers to chief negotiator of children who talk a lot!

My husband recently emailed me this poem he found and we have been actively applying it to the letter. Laying our phones down, switching them off and throwing out anything in our house that doesn’t bring joy.

Movie nights and embracing our big feelings. Running off to the pool instead of doing homework. Giving away things that make us feel cluttered. Taking them out after they had already been in bed for fifteen minutes to catch pokemon on our windy foreshore.

I have a tendency to lean towards the serious. If you meet me in person, I am much better at a one on one conversation than a quick shallow networking moment. I am extroverted on stage, but quite introverted by nature in my everyday.

My children draw all the words I have stored up in my memory bank of imagination. My work is words and then I find myself swirling at 5 pm because I am in desperate need of letting go of all the feelings I have accidentally packed into my emotional backpack.

Laying it all down.

Doing all the hard things.

Focusing on the present rather than disappearing into my future through story and imagination.

Children are miraculous, but they are deep sea divers in your patience and history.

Let’s remember this and sit on the floor and bang pots with them. One day soon I’ll be waving them off to university. But for today, I will embrace the little things that bring them great delight and remember that releasing control is often one of the greatest achievements we will ever attain.

Love

Amanda

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the art of not taking ourselves so seriously

Laughter indeed is the most excellent medicine. Last weekend we sat down as a family and introduced our children to the world of “Supercalifragilisticexpeallidocious”. One of the two was asleep before the curtain even raised, it had been a stressful week, but our first born’s eyes were like circle’s as he soaked in every song and scene.

Mary Poppins is a puzzle of emotions but to see my little man absorbed in the humour of it all was breathtaking.

You see he’s been having a hard time of late. An awakening of many different trials, but he has not been the pie-eyed optimist I gave birth too. He’s not enjoying school, there is a whole plot lines worth of reasons why but I am determined to help him laugh his way through.

One early morning this week, I found this post-it note stuck to my desk.

workipladoushous:

It means funny. Properly funny. Very funny.

The beauty of this little breakthrough is that my six-year-old realises that anything that is worth doing takes a lot of work.

Driving one morning, he said to me; “Mum school has so much paperwork!” with a sad look on his face.

I reply “I know buddy, it can be hard sometimes hey?”

He replies “It is sooooooooooo boringgggggg”

Enter workipladoushous. The capacity to take something that is boring and to make it funny. Mary Poppins taught me this so long ago.

Yesterday in the ICU unit with my Granma, we were getting sly looks from the nurses and fellow patients as we laughed and laughed. My granma has lost her eyesight, she is regaining her speech from a stroke last week and this week had a mild heart attack. Yet yesterday we laughed. We laughed so hard tears dribbled down her cheeks. About fellow patients, about family stories.

I think not only does social media create a culture of comparison, but also one where we take everything sooooooo seriously.

Ourselves,

Our businesses,

Our parenting,

Our career,

Our purpose,

Our food.

The art of not taking ourselves so seriously is found in the midst of workipladoushous. Taking that which is tedious and making it funny.

So today, what if we embarked upon the healing medicine of laughter. If you are in the depths of despair or the heights of career-driven success. Laugh a little. Or a lot.

Hire a comedy.

Hang out with that friend that can’t help but crack a few jokes.

Listen to a podcast with someone who excels in the art of not taking themselves too seriously.

Watch Baboons at the zoo.

Anything, just something that makes you smile and remember tomorrow is another day, and that which is weighing upon your heart can be lifted by the simplicity of a profound, unrelenting, barreling moment of raucous laughter.

If I’m getting a little heavy hearted my internet friend just shout out your window as your driving past me: WORK I PLAD OU SHOUS!

And we will both laugh out loud together

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Nothing always leads to something

Disney’s latest offering “Christopher Robin” had me eating honey cake and cleaning the tears from my face with a napkin. A childhood tale of witty wisdom and heartfelt panorama’s, each character that tumbled out of the hundred acre wood had me smiling.

This new release follows the story of a grown-up Christopher Robin and his struggle to make all the ends in his life meet. I sat there profoundly moved by the same conversations I have had with my family lately.

It is a grown-up, adult version of a childhood favourite, calling us into the never-ending space of rest and reflection, with a side dish of fun served as dessert.

Christopher walks into his house and smiles hesitantly at his wife “I’m sorry I got held up at work.”

She looks at him with doubt “You’ll be working this weekend?”

He replies with shame “It can’t be helped!”

The tension within a family to prioritise rest and fun, with work and the endless task list is one that we have not found our family solution too. I sat listening to the conversations of this family trying to find their way through, smiling as Pooh came to discover his old friend again.

The depth of imagination and the capacity to call you deeper into your internal dialogue was a timely reminder that sometimes doing nothing is everything.

“Doing nothing often leads to the very best of something”

Christopher Robin

When was the last time you did nothing?

What about a weekend with a rambling countryside and no task list snuck in your briefcase pocket?

As a culture, we are not great at doing nothing. Efficiency has us all held captive, and our mobile phones beep with constancy in our pockets. It means nothing for someone to message us late at night, and the myriad of connection points leave us all feeling a little disconnected.

This film took me to space where I remembered what it was like to imagine as a child, roaming and wandering in nature. Making friends with my memories and reminding myself where my work belongs.

Pooh looks at Christopher Robin and innocently asks; “Do you always carry that thing with you?”

Robin replies “What my briefcase?”

And Pooh smiles innocently “Yes, is it more than a balloon?”

He curtly pouts “Of course it is more important than a balloon.”

This little meet-cute at the beginning of their newly formed relationship reminded me of how much more we place importance on our work and our sense of achievement and success.

However, I want to be known by my family and my loved ones, by the attention I give them. That they are indeed my priority and although my heart dreams of far off places, that today I will sit in the discomfort of the present. Making them known in my heart and my hands.

So you will find me this weekend, switching off and laying my briefcase of important things down, ready to watch movies, throw popcorn and possibly buy my littles a red balloon, remembering that sometimes doing nothing, always leads to a great something.

And more than ever our world needs a reminder that taking a break and running away to the woods is never, ever a bad thing.

Happy Weekend Friends,

Enjoy a slice of honey cake with me.

Amanda

Opens in cinemas Australia wide: 13th September 2018

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the art of thankyou

There is an art to thank you, and it is one that doesn’t come easily. It is not a polite nod of our heads, with an internal scowl in the mind. It is the “thank you’ that comes from a deep place of satisfaction rather than one from obligation.

Lately, I have found myself uncomfortable the art of thank you.

I’m not sure about you, but often an encouraging conversation or an email that comes to bring life through words leaves me a little unsure about how to respond. The walk of not being too much but shying from the seat of the insecure critic has me dancing about in the land of unsure.

Do you sometimes struggle to step into an opportunity because of the discomfort of feeling misunderstood?

Do you sometimes shrink back from speaking out your truth because you don’t want to be seen as full of it?

I understand.

This I am finding is the art of thank you.

When you feel unsure of what to say when someone gives you an encouraging word, just smile and breathe softly and say a slow;

Thank you.

Feel the discomfort, but allow yourself to accept the kind words in their simplicity.

When you are offered an opportunity that takes you out of your comfort zone, and inside you are exploding with all the fear and failure of days gone by, just smile, stretch out your faith and say;

Thank you.

There is something profound in the simplicity of just accepting what is presented to you. When we overthink, doubt and retreat, we move backwards rather than into our greater tomorrow.

When you look into someone’s eyes, and they see your truth, rather than diverting our eyes in discomfort, just say;

Thank you.

Nothing else.

Nothing more.

Just sit in the present moment and breathe in the possibility of tomorrow.

Thank you for seeing me.

Thank you for reaching out and participating in my now.

Thank you for extending a branch into my tomorrow.

Thank you.

And move forward from this moment of in-between.

As our eyes close at the end of the day and we struggle to let go of the tapes that play over and over, grounding us in the feelings of not enough. Take a deep breathe and acknowledge the privilege of the present and say;

Thank you.

Thank you for life, thank you for grace and most of all thank you for breath.

Sometimes the most magnificent achievements we make are the moments when we allow goodness to brew possibility in our today.

Instead of blocking momentum by fear.

Why don’t we agree to say thank you together and see where the glimpses of possibility take us.

Amanda

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5 steps to find clarity and to reset

How is the middle of the year treating you?

I know the months between May and August can trip me up with confusion and lack of clarity.

There is a part of my heart that knows I don’t have to wait till Monday to begin again. I also know that failure is a big part of living a life on purpose. However, we all need reminders that every day is a new beginning, take a deep breath, reset and begin again.

I was sitting with a colleague yesterday, and she was telling  me that her email box, was sending her messages “Warning, Warning, your email box is blocked because it has too many messages.”

I smiled because it felt like my mind right at that present moment. Warning alarms were telling me it was time to reset. I said to her quietly, “First of all you need to arrange your email box in such a way that all the emails with attachments come to the top of your inbox. Secondly, you need to delete all of the emails. Thirdly, turn your computer off and restart it again.”

Our hearts, lives and especially minds can get full of extra attachments, and we need to find a way to reboot, to begin again.

Here are five ways that you can do an internal reset to find clarity

How hopeful do you feel?

Hope is something straightforward, but it can change everything. When our mind overloads, it can be difficult to find hope. One of my favourite proverbs says this;

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick” Proverbs 13:12

We all have a little hope in our hearts. Even that small voice that says “go on you should try again”. Maybe hope frustrates us because we have tried over and over. With failure and unmet expectations. As you retreat this winter with these reset pages, allow hope again to arise. Remind yourself of how you have grown with renewed hope.

How does faith impact your decisions?

Faith is the capacity to believe that there is help outside of your self. It’s not that popular to talk about faith these days, but my faith that there is a plan beyond my perspective. That there is an opportunity to partner with greater power, that I believe is good and cares for my journey, changes everything. The partnership of purpose impacts everything decision I make. How does faith impact your decisions? Do you believe that everything is meaningless? Do you struggle to find meaning in the midst of adversity?

As you retreat this winter with these reset pages, allow faith to inform your decisions and see whether clarity comes again.

What gratitude practise do you have in your daily routine?

Gratitude changes everything. When we acknowledge what is going right in our lives, even though we may not see the significant changes we are looking for, you are more capable of seeing change come. As a family, we try to do “High Points and Low Points” over each meal we have around our table. Our three-year-old is learning to acknowledge the little things, which build gratitude into her daily framework. One of the activities from the reset pages is to celebrate what small things you have achieved this year so far. Failure tries to trick us into thinking we haven’t moved at all, when sometimes the goal posts just shift. Take the time this winter to reset, and one great way you can do this is by creating a gratitude practice.

Who can you be kind to this week?

Generosity and kindness change us. We may think that it is about the person receiving the gift, the encouragement or the opportunity but it changes us. If you are in a mid-year slump, why don’t you make a plan of action to be kind to someone? As you extend your hand of generosity to another, it grows you. Every single time we encourage someone, it will always bring back life and courage to our own. Every time we are kind, instead of mean-spirited it changes us and brings all those good pheromones. What if you were kind today? As you retreat and take the time to reset this July, this is an act of kindness to ourselves.

What area do I need to step out in courage?

As we move towards the end of another year, we all know there are areas that we need to move forward with courage in. Those big, crazy goals, that remain unfulfilled. When we move forward with courage, there is something profound that happens in us. It is like a light of deep satisfaction goes on and warms our heart from inside. Courage brings great satisfaction. Although fear tells us we cant. Courage tells us we can. Write a list of things that you need to do with courage this July. Take the time to find perspective with this reset daybook.

Who is ready for an internal reboot?

Tell me when you are going to retreat below…

I’d love to follow your story and revelations through this hashtag #resetdaybook

Happy Days creative truth seekers.

Amanda