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she is free

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Yesterday afternoon we sat together as group of girls, new friends, old friends, acquaintances, best friends and chatted together whilst watching the sun set over a wedding celebration.

These conversation made my day; new friends, stories swapped, difficulties shared.

Actually it has made my week.

How many times do we come away from a conversation with a group of women and feel anything but free?

Imagine this; a group of girls, glasses of wine in hand, chatting away and the result authentic stories filled with truth.

Gossip, criticism, comparison and competition doesn’t have to be the norm.

A group of women can listen, encourage, collaborate, plan, care, speak truth, share stories…

It is possible.

Freedom is at its best in my world when I am not comparing and competing with another.

My friend Karina you see, she is brilliant.

She is a leader, a wife, an outstanding program manager. She communicates fluently, she is innovative, she is wonderful. We spent the day together yesterday. Her man and mine. As couples we sat quietly reading, waiting, loving, chatting and not once did I feel inferior. Not once did I compare myself to her bright red dress and lips to match.

We are free.

Great, solid friends, where our time together is light, easy, fun.

We don’t live in each others pockets but we love to lead together.

Friendship filled with purpose.

The most beautiful reflection of how freedom can reign in friendships between women.

Have you ever felt really unsure about the whole friendship in the women zone?

I know it can be difficult.

I know you have probably been hurt.

I know we can do it better.

I know comparison and competition doesn’t need to be at the forefront of our conversations.

I know this, because I have seen it in action.

We can be free,

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wholeness, women and leadership

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If there is one thing I am passionate about it is young women who lead. I started my first business when I was fifteen years old and have always looked for people ahead of the journey than me to learn from.

I worried so often as a young leader whether I was good enough, whether I was too much, too loud, too disorganised. I struggled with my self image, I wanted to be liked by people. A journey of struggle, knowing I have always been out the front from a young age and destined to lead, but never knew if it was just too much passion, too many ideas and way too many opinions.

My friend Karina and I run a young women in leadership project with twenty girls under thirty. Leadership can be restricted to a set of rules, an understanding of what you are not allowed to do and a position that is given by someone in authority.

But what if our understanding of leadership in our modern society was so much more than this prescriptive approach.

What if women in leadership were not an anomoly?

What if girls were raised to believe they can lead and not be described as bossy?

What if we were okay with our femininity as leaders rather than pushing forward feminism?

I have seen women in leadership fall often into two quite clear categories.

1) ‘I’m here because someone forced me to be here.’

2) ‘I’m trying to prove myself, get out of my way.’

I believe we need to create a culture of wholeness surrounding women in leadership. Eliminating the need for people to feel like they have to prove themselves. Creating cultures where natural expressions of leadership no matter the gender is based in gifting, authenticity and grace.

A whole leader in my view is someone who is completely okay with their season and place. Someone who is not trying to prove themselves in a boys club. She is graced for the season she finds herself in, she is authentic and grounded in knowing who she is and who she is not.

She doesn’t spend her days trying to please everyone.

She speaks kindly and softly, bringing passion, colour and life to the conversations she happens upon.

She is strong yes, but she doesn’t have it all together.

She doesn’t compare herself to strangers on the internet or other women excelling in her field.

She doesn’t copy the ideas of those in her industry, she makes a way through her own intelligence and capacity and doesn’t make excuses for her unique insight and brilliance.

She is not afraid to say that she is beautiful.

Humility shrouds her words.

Creativity and grace is her gift to those closest.

Happy to say no and lift another up into an opportunity.

Excited to say yes, when she knows she has something to give.

Whole, healthy, strong, kind, perceptive, intuitive…

What an amazing picture of what women in leadership could truly possess.

Not competitive.

Bitchy.

Selfish.

Loud.

Hyperactive.

but grounded.

Whole.

Oh gosh this excites me for what future generations can walk into.

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Look up

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Look up dear friend,
There is more than you see.
Look up dear sister,
Those four lines contain lies.
Look up dear Mumma,
The bright lights of the device invade.
Look up dear leader,
Comparison is a thief.
Look up dear writer,
Google is not your creative friend.
Look up creative soul,
There is something so destructive about that blinking screen.
Look up.There is so much more.

Today I sat at the beach, relieved because I arrived early to an appointment. My inside voice said ‘ Yes, great. What’s happening on social media.‘ And I picked up my phone and mindlessly scrolled.

After a few minutes and an awareness of how special this time alone was, I heard another inside voice, one that is a little wiser say ‘ Look up. Look up.’

I took a deep breath.

And I did.

I put my phone away and saw the most beautiful view.

Water,

Boats,

People,

Fishermen,

Jetty’s

Children.

I Looked up.

I walked along the path towards the view and looked a lady straight in the eyes. We had a little chat.

Simple.

Exquisite.

A little reminder in my ordinary to put my phone away and…

Look up,

Amanda Viviers

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Daring and disruptive

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I feel like I’m super late to the party but I have a new creative, entrepreneurial crush and her name is Lisa Messenger. With a freshly baked banana bread and a bottomless flat white, I have spent the morning reading her words from her book full of foundations for leadership, life and creativity.

fail fast

take risks

push the boundaries

start before you’re ready

just go

This book Daring and Disruptive has been my companion over the last few days and I have been riveted. Inspired to live on purpose, inspired to step outside of the boxes that contain my ideas and possibilities for tomorrow.

As a woman who is also a leader, I am often perplexed by what is appropriate in my response to opportunities that avail. Do I seek after the opportunities? Do I rest and see what comes my way? Is too much confidence considered arrogance? Am I too much? Does my passion put people off? Do I think too much? What dream is unattainable?

To find someone who explores these topics with authenticity and grace.

Who says it like it is.

Who is not afraid to fail.

Who has faced her fears front on is a deep breath of reality.

I feel like I have been sitting with a cup of coffee with a long lost friend. A mentor from a distance and it has been the most delightful of encounters.

If you want your live your life on purpose and make a difference globally, you will not be disappointed in this read.

Dare to be disruptive and challenge the status quo.

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Allow pressure to define you. 

Pressure has the capacity to break us or make us.

There is something about a situation that stretches us, even if it is a tiny amount of pressure, it can grow our capacity and our ability to cope in future opportunities.

Often we say no, out of fear of pressure, expectations or the stretch of the responsibility.

When we are in a rested place and we are not striving to get validation from others, a situation of pressure can be the most liberating opportunity.

You know that feeling, when you take on a project and you are completely afraid but you stretch and do more than you could imagine.

You know that work leadership role, that you take on momentarily and then suddenly you are aware that you can actually do this.

We all have these moments presented to us, but not everyone says yes.

Pressure makes diamonds shine bright.

You were designed to shine brightly at something.

You have a piece of coal inside of you, that with the right environment has the capacity to shine bright.

Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. Matthew 5: 15

Pressure brings forth the deep capacity, the hidden potential, the possible in your future.

If you are feeling pressured right now, you are at the point of change.

Diamonds of opportunities are being formed.

Speak tomorrow.

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