Category: yestember

14. Go to the movies by yourself.

For most of you, I bet this is not a big deal, but for me, I hated going to the movies alone. There was something about sitting in a big old cinema, feeling lonely surrounded by other couples, and groups of friends and family chatting that made me feel even more alone.

The summer when I faced this fear and I have just swum in the river upstream, against the tide of people and popcorn, I felt like I had overcome the world.

Going to the movies by yourself might not be a biggie, but what is?

Buying a house by yourself?

Shifting out from your family’s home?

Travelling to Europe?

What is the sacred cow, that you will not sacrifice until you are tied?

Maybe it is time to do that very thing you fear. There are many things we can do without needing someone by our side.

Be brave, dear friend.

12. Book a counselling/ mentoring/ pastoral care/ chaplain/ life coach session.

I believe we all have something deep within us, that hasn’t yet been expressed. A secret, some thoughts, some unmet expectations, some desires.

We have seasons when we have let go and other seasons when we feel completely overwhelmed, but I have always found in my walk, there is always something new to learn about ourselves.

There is a simple psychology principle called the Johari window. It is a four-paned piece of glass that sheds light on how we see ourselves and how others see us.

If we were a window, with four panes, we be been seen in four different ways.

1) Things we know about ourselves that nobody else knows (eg secrets).

2) Things we know about ourselves that everyone knows as well (eg I have blue eyes).

3) Things about us that others see but that we have no idea about (eg a fault).

4) Things that we have no idea about and no-one else does either; only God knows (our purpose, potential, future).

I have always found it useful to take time to sit with a professional, whether it be a life coach, a counsellor, a chaplain, a psychologist, a priest, a nun, a pastor, a leader.

Taking time out to share your heart and ask for reflection.

Why don’t you book time to do this sometime this month and simply start to talk about what is being brought up in your internal world.

11. Jigsaw puzzle time.

I have a great friend, her name is Penny. She works so hard and loves crazy deep. Every holiday that she embarks upon with her family, especially at Christmas, she buys one of those massive jigsaw puzzles from a charity shop and places it on the family dinner table.

It is a distinct sign to her family that it is time for them to slow down.

A 5,000 or 10,000 or dare I say it 20,000-piece jigsaw puzzle is not for the faint hearted.

It is for the patience warrior who needs to take time to bring it all together.

This is my thought: go and buy a jigsaw puzzle. One of those really big old-style ones and start to piece it together.

It will build patience in you. It will test your patience. It will slow you down.

It will increase your awareness of your thoughts and whether you are in a positive or negative head space.

It will grow you.

10. Write a message on a mirror

One of the greatest ways that I engage in my now, is writing scriptures or quotes in places that I can see them every day.

I have written them on post-it notes and put them on the dashboard of my car. I have a blackboard in my home and I write large messages to myself on it. I have written scriptures on mirrors in my home.

What I am asking you to do is write a message to yourself, somewhere that is very visual. to remind yourself to remain in the moment this month.

Remind yourself that you are Brave, Strong, Courageous, Kind, Beautiful, Worthy of Love.

Whatever words you need to encourage you now, write them in big fat letters and remind yourself that you are loved.

Remind yourself that you are worthy of respect.

Remind yourself of your purpose.

Go do it now.

Go on.

9. Have a coffee with a pensioner.

I believe some of the saddest corridors in our communities are the retirement homes in our local area. Lounge rooms where volumes of stories and seasons of wisdom remain untold as senior citizens sit waiting to have tea with someone, anyone…

Do you know someone in their eighties or nineties?

How long has it been since you sat with them and asked questions about marriage, relationships and growing up?

One of my favourite dating books is by Elisabeth Elliot, ‘Passion and Purity’.

She wrote this book in 1984, based on letters she had written to her husband forty years earlier in the 1940’s. Years and years of maturity and lessons learnt, holding her in good stead for the advice she was to write. Notice how I am not writing a book about marriage? I have only been married for four short years, but singleness, I was single for about thirty of them and still, I have much to learn.

My challenge is to find someone older than eighty and join them in a simple cup of tea while they talk.

Let them tell you some stories while you listen.