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The thief comparison

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Comparison is something that eats away at our hearts slowly.

It is a thief that steals our joy, peace and promises for a better tomorrow.

When we spend our days comparing ourselves to one another we don’t allow ourselves to discover who we truly are.

I grew up the daughter of an identical twin.

Over and over, season through season, we watched our Mums struggle with comparison and competition.

They navigated its poison well, but I am still so aware of the difficulty it imposes.

Yesterday I started an online course with Brene Brown. I have been a little addicted to her writing this last year and I stumbled across this course and decided to have a go.

It is all about living a wholehearted life and allowing creativity to inspire and heal those parts of us that have been suppressed and broken.

The course walks slowly through the book I finished a few weeks ago called ‘The gifts of imperfection’.

Two of the exercises we were given today was to draw a self portrait (mine is above), writing a few words beside it about what we believe about ourselves.

Then another exercise was to write down our creative wounds, scars that have held us contained in our creativity (I went back to a day in my journal that I missed and reclaimed that little blank page of failure). We were to write in red pen words that have impacted us from our upbringing. Words that have been spoken over our lives and our creativity

Some of my words were;

Too much

Too loud

Too fat

Too pushy

Too messy…

Things that had been spoken over my life that caused me often to compare myself with others as I created.

As much as I love blogging, it is like a double edged sword. The comparison to others online, the negative criticism, the competition, so easily can take over and affect my output.

Brene asked us to paste over those scars with bandaids and then write words of recovery and belief in their place.

I wrote words like

enough

strong

leader

loved

purposed

and more.

It is amazing how much comparison robs us of our peace. It is a thief. It steals from our today and plunders our tomorrow.

What are you spending your days comparing yourself to?

Mummy bloggers?

The type of prams others have?

The house you live in?

The job you have?

Someone’s instagram account?

When we live in a place of constant comparison we are paralysed from making changes that are necessary to live to life of creativity and inspiration we were designed to.

You are a creative being, even if you don’t believe that you are. You were created in the image of the most amazing Creator.

Maybe you need to do a couple of these exercises as well and post them in your 365 journal together.

I am scared and excited about this 6 week course I have now embarked upon.

I hoping to embrace my imperfections and continue along this inspiration journey of 2014.

See you tomorrow.

Amanda

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Sky through clouds

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The last few days have seen a welcome change of weather in our part of town. A little grey, a little cloudy, a little colder and just a little more like winter.

I spent the day in the city with three different friends (two in this photo) who are going through their own journeys of healing and recovery. One could say winter seasons of challenge and courage.

Whilst driving from hospital to home to respite centre, I was listening to an album given to me on Monday night and I was so moved by the words of a song.

Don’t Be Afraid from beautiful new album from Cate Williams ‘The Dance of Life’

Don’t be afraid, though the world has shut it’s ears to your cry and you feel like you want to die, come over here and let Me heal your broken heart and you’ll no longer fear I’m here to rescue you. I’ll carry you through the night time and the crazy storm. Pick you up, so your feet don’t touch those angry thorns and I’ll hold you when every anchor falls away. Cause a love like this will help you see the sky through the clouds.

As I sung and played this song on repeat I was so overwhelmed at the journey’s of many people in my life at the moment.  I found such perspective in my own battles whilst thinking about the journey of faith they are each on, step by step they are trusting for healing and recovery.

Little by little

Step by step

Moment by moment

Brave decision after brave decision.

Despite the struggle all of them are choosing to see sky through clouds.

Amidst trouble and pain, the stories, the laughter, the resounding echo of faith that surrounded all of their speech.

It brings great perspective to me, to watch people who are grappling with difficult times step out and believe that change and new days are ahead.

People who are in the midst of crazy storms, that still their hearts and lives and look for the sky through the clouds. (there is a video link on this photo of Cate Williams below with another song from her latest album ‘Hold the Keys’).

cate

Rescue

Recovery

Beauty

Pain

Peace

Faith

Trust

Are you struggling to see the beautiful blue promise of sky through the dark, grey, rolling clouds?

It is okay, but despite the pain, despite the diagnosis, despite the clouds, the sky is awaiting to breakthrough and bring you into a new day and season.

He awaits

He promises

He guides you home.

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everyday ordinary life

everyday

This morning we got up early, ate eggs on toast and scrambled into our swimming clothes.

Although the autumn breeze has delightfully made the mornings crisp, I decided early on that a swim would wash away the cobwebs of the last few days.

Summer has been so rich and long here at the shack, so finding a way to continue it’s love at the indoor pools was divine.

We walked into a wall of chlorine and humanity. Mums with their babies, Grandma’s watching toddlers delight, Dads home from FIFO work for the week and school teachers taming teenagers.

People enjoying the simplicity of the water. Toddlers screaming, hot chips frying and the gym instructors yelling.

I sat back and watched this room of people, who were completely oblivious to me, doing their everyday ordinary life and smiled.

I had an awakening as I people-watched Mum’s of young babies splash around and try to relax in the midst of the exhaustion.

Every day, ordinary life.

I loved it.

I don’t always feel this way. I have struggled sometimes, (not with being a stay at home mum) that part I find a privilege and a joy! I have grappled in finding significance and a peace at doing everyday, ordinary life. No stress, no demands, no staff and no back to back meetings.

My ordinary life, one that I am not trying to escape from.

Happy with my little seaside town.

The graffiti, the people, the wind.

My little home, my little family and the everydayness of the ordinary.

This morning I think I found it.

I was overwhelmed with gratefulness.

I am happy today to exist in my now, not always stretching towards something else, something new, another horizon.

Grateful for eggs on toast.

Grateful for simple indoor pools.

Grateful for the health of my sleeping little man.

After my people watching nirvana at my local swimming hole, we went and hung out at our local half way home, for young pregnant mums off the streets.

We folded clothes, we held little brand new babies whilst their mums slept, we sorted out bits and bobs to go to the op shop.

Slowly we watched another part of our local community exist, thrive and pursue an everyday existence.

I thought of this quote;

everyday 2

And this scripture resounded. (Romans 12: 1)

1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognise what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

This is my reflection and desire today.

This ordinary Wednesday, that I would embrace my now and live in a place of gratitude for the simple things I have been given.

Tomorrow, awaits.

Amanda

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Your struggle

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In the land of all things creative, when you are struggling to find the answer, keep looking.

I need to be completely honest here.

I did not even write one word for my next book ‘Yestember‘ in the month of March.

I read.

I grappled.

I thought.

I talked.

I listened.

But nothing on paper.

I collected other peoples stories (of which I am still needing 8 more)…

But I didn’t even write an opening sentence.

I found quotes.

I started a branding.

But no words.

See the problem I have, is that I am not interested in writing another cliche line, that disappoints and confuses those who are single.

I am not interested in publishing something that doesn’t help.

When I was single and especially over 30, I read some of the most appalling books, that I was so desperate to get answers from.

I don’t want to produce answers, I want to provoke questions.

I don’t want to give a 3 point sermon that frustrates and belittles.

I don’t even want to minimise or maximise the season.

I am trusting the struggle right now.

No struggle = no thought.

So essentially I failed March inspired majorly.

Like not even one word after 30 days.

But I am trusting the struggle and staying in this uncomfortable place.

What struggle are you having to produce something great?

Stay in that place of restlessness until you breakthrough to that new place of promise.

Speak tomorrow.

Struggle town.

Amanda

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Find where you belong

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I am home fresh from our Sparc gathering in Perth. The night is all about creative people networking and sharing stories and finding a place to belong.

A tribe,

A gang,

A pack.

As creatives as much as we need time by ourselves to wrestle and play with fresh ideas, we also need to step away from our computers (keyboards, instruments, cameras, paint brushes) and go and sit with people of the same ilk.

To be encouraged,

To feel loved,

To find a place to belong.

I love this Brene Brown quote, it’s is everything that as a creative I struggle with.

My imperfection and struggle.

But I truly believe every person is worthy of love and belonging.

Everyone.

Even when it hasn’t gone to plan.

Even when we have stuffed up relationship.

Even when we are so introverted walking into a room is the pits.

Everyone.

Thanks to all the brave people who gave tonight a go.

I hope you found someone a little more like you and are one step closer to forming a creative gang.

Speak tomorrow

A