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A beautiful mess

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beautifulbeautiful mess one

The ambience, the mood, the arrangement of belongings is all very important to me when I start to create.

I want to sit down at an organised desk, a cafe hidden in the corner or in a space that is just right. Airy, light, a soft hum of good music and a cup of good coffee.

In a perfect scenario every bit of housework is done, a candle is lit and then I can start the creative project I am working on.

Enter real life.

These days that scenario never happens.

I am learning to create amongst the beautiful mess.

It doesn’t become an excuse not to clean or spend time sorting but I am learning that in a family of soon to be four, there will always be washing, there will always be dishes, I will find helicopters in my handbag and it makes me secretly smile.

I am learning to embrace the messiness.

Every time I think I have a routine down, my husbands roster changes and my son goes through a growth spurt.

Every time I sigh, glad to see the sink empty of dishes another plate lands there that was forgotten from a back room.

Every time I smile longingly at the bottom of the washing basket, a new load of old gym clothes surfaces from the back of the car.

Life.

It is messy.

But it can be beautiful.

How do we live inspired in the muddle of the mess?

How do we take a deep breath and not respond out of haste?

How do we find time to refresh and recalibrate?

This is my pursuit.

This is my desire.

To capture life at its fullest, yet to live authentically honest about the firetrucks I find under my carpet, that sting my feet.

This is why I write, this is why I search, this is why I come back here each day.

To continue to look for inspiration in the midst of the ordinary.

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Breathe in, breathe out

20140607-212006-76806151.jpgWell the time has come where my two year old has decided going to bed is the worst idea in the world.

Until three days ago, our routine was slick and I could get him to sleep in less than five minutes.

Then something changed.

His obsession with fire trucks maybe, his awareness of the world around him grew or a growth spurt…

Something changed, I know not what…and oh have we battled.

Last weekend in church the message was so great, it was all about living below our stress lines in life and what fills and drains us.

I walked into this week not feeling stressed at all and will walk out of it feeling like I am redlining.

Tonight after a two hour battle to get him to stay in bed I felt like a complete failure as a parent.

Yesterday I didn’t even want to write I was so deflated.

Then a few minutes ago, ready to give up my writing, (who can write when all you feel like doing is crying) I remembered my list.

What drains you?

What fills you?

Last Sunday after the message I wrote a list with my husband of what drains us and what fills us.

I started to recall those things on my list.

Flowers; a friend bought me flowers yesterday and my house has little pots of flowers all around.

Coffee and a magazine; Charl (my husband) bought me a magazine this week on his way home from work.

Time alone; charl is on nightshift and although it kinda sucks, I am in fact revelling in silence right now.

Writing; forcing myself right now and suddenly I am breathing deeper.

Worship music; check, tunes that bring life into my moments.

And my list went on.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

My perspective of Mothers of toddlers has drastically changed.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change and to change that which I can.

Thanks for the reminder

Signing off, I have a movie to watch.

Speak tomorrow

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let your gentleness be evident

be gentle

Be gentle.

How often do we hear that phrase?

Hardly ever…

Our culture implores us to be bold, to be brave, to be successful, to be brilliant, to be excellent…

What about gentle?

Mostly, what about being gentle with ourselves.

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and I often find internal dialogue with myself, anything but gentle.

Yesterday, I was tired from a speaking engagement the night before and a radio interview in the morning. I had a two year old running around my feet, I had someone coming to be mentored, a pile of washing to boot and in the back of my mind ‘What possibly could I make for dinner that is inspired?’.

As I walked the washing out to the line, (rephrase: waddled the washing out to the line) I found myself tired, overwhelmed and so not wanting to hang out this heavy load.

I wasn’t gentle with myself, I was heavy worded, I was disheartened, I was tired.

As I stood at the line, hanging out three loads of washing, I reminded myself. ‘You are in your third trimester, you are doing your best, you are enough.’.

That change in inner dialogue, changed my whole perspective of that very moment.

Someone who is so used to getting twenty five things done in a day, was proud of getting the washing hung.

Somedays, just hanging the washing out and making a great environment in your home, is enough.

We need to be gentle with ourselves.

I love Philipians 4:5

It says this;

‘Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.’

To All.

That means everyone.

That means you.

Be gentle with yourself.

Especially in the days that follow a really big moment in your life. A big project finished, a task completed that has taken months, a conversation that was really intense.

Be kind and nurture that precious heart of yours.

Be gentle, tomorrow is another day.

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the best is yet to come

the best

How often do we think that our best days have past us?

We dwell in nostalgia, forgetting all the struggle and strife in those days, yet truly the best place for us to dwell is in this very moment.

We reminisce.

Those skinny years on the beach, those carefree moments in university without a mortgage and early morning wake ups. That job we loved and lost, those late nights at cafes with friends with no responsibilities and the list goes on.

Today I have woken with a very sneaky hunch. I baked banana bread for my favourites and smiled at the days to come and thought…

‘The best is yet to come.’

It is resounding in me like a song that plagues.

‘The best is yet to come.’

I kinda have a feeling that this promise is not just for me and mine, but you and yours as well.

‘The best is yet to come.’

The reason I believe this, is every new day has potential to be something magnificent that we have never experienced before.

To be captured.

To be revelled in.

To be lived.

The lessons we have learnt from those failures, have the capacity to gird us with strength for the new journey’s.

The people we have loved and lost, have taught us faithful lessons of patience, peace and what we are really worth in relationship.

Lately my little Maximus, has started noticing rainbows. Everywhere we go, he notices them, even when I don’t. The power of a rainbow, is it was created as a promise for tomorrow. Every time we see it, we know that God see’s and knows the struggles of today and he delights in the potential of tomorrow.

Every new day has a promise like no other and all it takes for us to step into it, is guarding our heart from the hurts of the past and stepping up to the promises of tomorrow.

What do you have to loose?

Step into new days, new moments and new possibilities.

Throw off the weights that hinder, they hold you back and do something brilliant towards your new day.

I’m inspired about tomorrow.

How about you?

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My ode to Maya

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One of my favourite authors Maya Angelou, died this week after living a large life of communication, advocacy and overcoming insurmountable odds.

Born in St. Louis, Missouri she lived a life battling racism, abuse and hostility. Post the trauma of being raped by her mothers boyfriend she stopped speaking for six years.

Coming from a past full of oppression, who would have predicted this young mute girl would end up penning 30 books throughout her life, including powerful poetry and become a famous playwright.

20140531-182304-66184389.jpgI believe it just proves, the power of the human spirit to overcome any circumstance and love beyond our past.

“She was a warrior for equality, tolerance and peace. The family is extremely appreciative of the time we had with her and we know that she is looking down upon us with love,” her family said.

On Friday after news of her death, I called my local library and borrowed her first autobiography ‘I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.’

I am currently immersed in the early years of her life as I read this riveting book.

One of my favourite quotes of hers is this;

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou

Rest in Peace Maya.

You inspired hundreds of thousands.

You did good.

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