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Live Bright

Living Bright

live bright

The day my husband bought home my all time favourite chair is one I’d rather forget. He drove his car up to the front door, after a long day at work to find his eight month pregnant wife less than impressed. He hauled a large white chair, a practical monstrosity from his car with a giddy smile on his face.

He’d gone rogue to surprise me with a leather feeding chair, (you know those ones that look like they were made for pensioners who watch daytime television) and my face creased slightly as I tried to fake a smile.

My poor Mr, so desperate to help in this season of vulnerability, was so confused by my reaction. You see when it comes to furniture in our little seaside shack, I’m much more akin to road side treasures, pre-loved, worn furniture with aged foam memories.

Play the movie forward nearly three years later and those furniture memories have been etched into my favourite chair and it is more like a hugging, comforting friend than a piece of wood and leather.

It may not look fancy or fit in with the rest of our furniture family but this chair holds precious moments in its creases as it stately sits in our corner. Like the time my newborn baby boy came home from the hospital, all crinkly, little and cranky. Or the time that my ninety year old Grandmother held her newest great-granddaughter, her namesake.

I remember the moment I watched my husband place his son on his bare chest, intent on forming a bond that was unbreakable and those painful moments when I tried desperately to stay calm whilst rocking a screaming little human in the dull hours of the morning.

This chair has been my partner in crochet crime, my crucible of long whispered prayers and my resting place after days of seeking out wisdom in novice motherhood.

It makes me think what kind of person this chair might be if it came alive with blood and water running through its veins.

I think it would be a She. With a capital S.

Practical,

Strong,

Forgiving

and

Flexible.

I think my leather feeding chair, with a small ripped edge, would be granted the fairest and best award for steadiness in the midst of a crazy few years. My little white friend, who sits quietly in the corner, ever faithful, waiting to provide me comfort as the wash of winter fades.

Although it is not that pretty, it stands bright and beautiful in my corner, living strong and not asking for any attention.

She lives bright.

She doesn’t call out and say look at me everyone, I’m an awesome piece.

She just does her job, provides comfort and is completely sure in what she was designed for.

There is something to be said for our old faithfuls.

Just like that pair of knickers that stays put, free from lace and frill, those jeans that fit freely and the mug that holds its warmth of tea just a little longer as we run around filling our families needs.

Living bright, doesn’t necessarily mean calling attention to ourselves. I think it is simply living with a self-assurance of what we were created for. A deep understanding that we were created with purpose and when we are true to that essence, we become our families favourite hiding place and strong tower in the midst of troubled times.

Shine bright this Christmas my dear friends.

Not with loud words and extravagant expressions, calling attention to our needs, but by being steady, brave and true.

Some random thoughts today from a piece of furniture that wasn’t initially welcomed into our house, but will be sorely missed when the time comes to re-home her in the coming years.

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I am taking part in a December Memory capturing journey. Join me and decide to do something creative next year by hash tagging #inspire15

 

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this is change

change

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When we make a change, it’s so easy to interpret our unsettled ways as unhappiness, and our unhappiness as the result of having made the wrong decision. Our mental and emotional states fluctuate madly when we make big changes in our lives, and some days we could tight-rope across Manhattan, and other days we are too weary to clean our teeth. This is normal. This is natural. This is change.

Jeanette Winterson.

Change is never easy.

It is confusing, it is overwhelming, it is step by step, painstakingly laborious.

Change affects every part of our hearts and lives.

The last two and a half years has been every bit of this for me.

Letting go, finding ways to regather my sense of self and moving forward.

How are you going with change, early this Sunday morning?

I love this wisdom from Jeanette Winterson. Our emotional state through seasons of change fluctuates and it is okay.

It is okay.

Someone asked me yesterday how I was going with novice motherhood.

I replied ‘One moment I feel like I could take on the world, next moment I want to escape to an island in the Pacific and hide.’

All of these emotions can be felt in just one day.

One hour, I feel completely capable and then the next I don’t even know what I’m doing.

This morning however, as the sun rose in through my window pane, I felt a small whisper from a voice I have grown to love saying this…

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I took a photo of these flowers I was given last night, I captured a little moment in my morning and just breathed.

Aware, that even if today goes pear-shaped;

Even in the midst of the massive change that has happened in my world with two little people relying on me,

Even if I am now on the receiving end of months of sleep deprivation, in the morning a fresh and blank page appears and the day begins again.

It is well with my soul and opportunity awakes for even the simplest of endeavour.

Mine today is to be a kind human.

What is yours?

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off the grid

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off the grid

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After nearly three years of being a stay at home Mum, I nearly wrote my resignation letter this week, got a job at my local cafe as a barista and bought a 4 X 2 from a catalogue in the suburbs.

I considered giving up this blog, settling into a mothers group and living a very quiet life.

Don’t feel sorry for me I haven’t had a hard week, it has been delightful.

Sublime, in fact.

My in laws have been here from New Zealand and we have been on a stay-cation.

I’ve fallen in love with my local area and my bodybuilder more than ever before and have been off the grid from social media and online communities.

The more time I have spent away from Instagram and its friends, the more I have embraced my moments with my family.

It’s a grapple.

It’s a fight.

I want to contribute and find a way to express and create, but I find myself wanting more and expecting more of my family when I compare myself to all of your lives.

I just don’t want to be that person.

I want simple.

But honestly I am far from a simple person.

I want ordinary but at the same time am bored very quickly.

I have realised my Bible has become more of a fashion accessory than a well referred to friend.

I have found little reminders of what lies deep in my heart surfacing through this time of reflection and relaxation.

I’ve been reading ‘Hands Free Mama’ by Rachel Macy Stafford and it has been encouraging me to lay down my distractions without feeling shame and resentment.

What is resounding in your heart these days my friends?

My heart has been thundering and I am okay with this, because the opposite is just not an option.

Till we meet again

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Bed time tales of Maximus the brave

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This afternoon our edges were fraying slightly, my 8 week old refusing to be put down, my 2 and a half year old refusing to put down the iPad.

My remedy was the beach.

We didn’t even walk five metres and my toddlers imagination was ignited.

Another two metres and my 8 week old was asleep on my chest.

The wind, the sand and a coffee in my hand, we entered our bliss.

As the afternoon sun cast shadows across the beach my son Maximus entered his happy place.

Building a sand castle, he declared the circus is open. “Tickets please, tickets please.”

Last night we dined with friends whose children are all grown, Dr Maximus arrived in his ambulance and treated his grown up patients from his amsilence ‘insert siren noises here.’

Each night as we lay him down to sleep we read a book and then talk about his day. We end this chat with a short (sometimes excruciatingly long as he prolongs the inevitable) prayer to Jesus.

Last night as we laid his books to sleep he reached over to his baby sister, lifting up his tshirt saying “Here Libby” pulls her to his chest “come have your milk”.

The night before

“Dear Jesus,

Thankyou for my nanny and my poppy, my Ouma and my Oupa ( the list goes on) and Thankyou for the Icecream shop.”

As I sit here on the beach writing as he chases seagulls, I am overwhelmed by the beauty of his imagination.

Not polluted by the news and screwed by unmet expectations, his daily account of his experiences and life is pure and unfiltered.

Kinda like a grateful prayer for the ice-cream shop.

This spring I am determined to let the sun go down, taking stock of my day through the eyes of a child, allowing my inspiration to arise with a free imagination and to walk the beach everyday, hoping the wind would blow away my cares.

Oh to see life through the eyes of my toddler, even though he is currently eating beach sand and rolling down a sand dune.

Maximus the brave you makes my days inspired.

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New season = new routine

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We are full swing in newborn land;

Two hourly feeds, two year old tantrums, washing that’s four people deep, two car seats, nappies piling out of our bins… the shack is in shock and wants its peaceful zen back.

Juggling coping strategies is my new normal. My Mr has gone back to work this week and I’m finding ways to keep my plates spinning.

One of the best strategies I implemented last week was a routine that is not dependent on my husband to function. (He works shift work and I found myself feeling destabilised every time his work roster changed)

I made a weekly planner on the fridge which includes exercise for mum, outings for Mr Maximus and meal plans for team V.

I arranged two friends to come on Monday morning and Wednesday morning respectively, to walk the beach together and get the family out of the house.

I arranged my Mum to meet us at the local pool on Tuesday to swim with Max, so I could focus on Libby.

Every day I have had a plan, that involved people and it has kept me sane.

The funny thing is, I HATE ROUTINE. I hate being told what to do, I hate meal planners, I hate same, same. I long for spontaneous moments of sheer brilliance.

We all need routine.

We all need spontaneous brilliance.

We all need a plan.

People ask me how I manage to write, speak regularly, run two blogs, mentor people with two little people and a husband to love?

The truth is sometimes I don’t!

Other times, I sacrifice to just get it done.

Sometimes I just do it when I don’t feel like it.

And then somedays I fall in a heap and am unable to do anything but just get by.

Although you read all the high points here on this blog and social media, routine is imperative for me to do anything productive.

I order my groceries online.

I have my bills on regular payments.

I delete my emails as soon as they have been read and keep my inbox as low as possible.

I unsubscribe from spam mail all the time.

Our freezer is full of meals prepared in advance.

We have a tiny apartment so I hardly spend any time cleaning.

We live simply with an apartment with no garden, so no mowing the lawns for us on weekends.

I regularly throw away any clutter to the op shop which keeps our house and life simple.

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I am able to keep pushing forward into new and fresh opportunities because I often reflect on the season that I am in and I alter my routine accordingly.

For example I am really determined to finish the book I am currently working on, so for the month of October I am not going to watch any TV.

Sacrifice
Routine
Relying on the village
Rest
Simplicity
Decluttering

These are all some of the strategies I employ to keep moving forward and keep our family moving.

I am fully aware of my new season and am determined to implement a new routine that matches that season.

Working out what I can do and what I can’t.

How about you?

Does your routine match your season?

Do you need a new normal?

speak soon

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