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broken crayons

Amanda cover
The wheels have started to fall off our baby bubble and the hard parts have begun to set in.

Our two year old, who goes to sleep normally within a reasonable amount of time and sleeps a solid night, has decided whatever is happening everywhere else in the house but his bedroom is the party he has missed the invite to.

Our newborn who was sleeping 18 hrs a day and smiling softly as she slept has begun to wake up.

Sore bodies

Tired minds

More caffeine

Which equals more upset tummy’s.

Our week has rolled out with highs and lows, but we are determined to soak up the moments whilst my body builder is home from work and enjoy even the sleeplessness of a newborn.

Whoever said ‘Sleep like a baby?’ obviously never tried to fit a toddler, a newborn, a body builder and a creative into a 1970’s beachside shack.

I saw this quote this week and it made me smile. (In fact I giggled a little bit, it felt like a prophetic statement of my now.)

broken

As a child, whenever a crayon broke, I would throw it away with disgust, needing the perfection of the moment to create my latest design.

As an adult I have learnt that even broken crayons colour. In fact there are no perfect crayons sitting at any of my coffee tables or dinner tables, every adult I meet has a story that has defined them.

Is there a part of your life right now, that you are missing moments of beauty and creativity because your crayons are a little cracked?

Are you waiting for that perfect moment to start enjoying a season, without realising the colour and beauty is accessible if you just celebrate your now?

Our week has been a little broken.

broken crayon

Moments of cross words, sore knees, broken bodies, tired eye lids, long sips of coffee but honestly it has been filled with moments of beauty and divine inspiration.

Our two week old went for her first walk on the beach.

Our toddler discovered his shadow for the first time and said goodbye to it and then realised with absolute surprise that his shadow was following him.

The series here on Capture life has been really moving me, with inspiration from my friends all over Australia.

My body builder fixed a pair of curtains in our shack, that have been annoying us for over two years.

BROKEN

CRAYONS

As we start to acknowledge the colour and beauty, we start to forget that the utensils we are writing with are a little bent.

If you feel like all your colours are fading and your crayons are bending, just take some time to acknowledge the beauty and colour and suddenly it won’t matter anymore.

A scripture has been floating around my head this week;

Psalm 18: 19

He brought me out to a wide-open place.

He rescued me because he was pleased with me.

I realised this week, that the last few months of my pregnancy, I hadn’t gone outside very often and I had spent a lot of time inside. It was winter, I was exhausted with a two year old and my everyday tasks.

We walked the beach this week in the midst of very tired eyes and sore bodies, the winter sun beamed strongly on our shoulders, our toddler ran along the beach immersing himself in the moment, we held hands and our newborn swung softly in the carrier on my husbands chest.

It felt like a very wide open space.

The brokenness of the season felt as far away in that moment as the distant ocean we were soaking our senses in.

Somedays we need to simply walk ourselves into a wide open space and feel the release from the heaviness of the season, allowing the colour to rise in our hearts.

Broken crayons still colour my friend.

Speak next sunday

(Enjoy my friends each day between now and then.)

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Brain Pictures

Amanda cover

This last week has been breath taking. Moments of sheer bliss, moments of over-tired determination, moments of pain, moments of overwhelmed-ness, moments of vulnerability and moments of sheer beauty.

On the 22nd of July at 1.36pm, after waiting for Miss V to come for weeks she arrived in true Viviers fashion.

Liberty Elizabeth Viviers

7 pound 2

49cms long

brown hair

dark blue/ black eyes.

Me pre surgery.jpg

pre-surgery.jpg

The first week in a newborns life brings with it a roller coaster of emotions but before our little girl came to town, my husband and I had a big conversation about how we wanted to handle this transition in our lives.

We found a scripture from Matthew that really spoke to us;

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

We knew there would be moments of burden, extreme tiredness and emotions, so we wanted a mantra to help us through those times.

Our mantra is this;

rhythm.jpg

I find myself asking saying internally, ‘find the grace, find the grace. It is here somewhere.

I found this video this week and it really impacted me.

There is one line that stuck and I remembered it as I walked out of the hospital with our precious little lady.

Take Brain Pictures.

I stood at the exit of the hospital doors, waiting with Miss Liberty in our capsule as my husband ran in the rain to our car and I felt like it was a little message just for me.

Take more brain pictures.

I stood there rain pelting down, the smell of winter, fresh and surreal and I took a brain picture.

I took a deep breath, I slowed myself intentionally and made a memory.

I took a brain picture.

We spend, all day everyday, thinking about taking photos to share with the world on our social media platforms but what about making memories for no one but your own catalogue of memories?

I have found this need to take photos to share magnified with a newborn. You want to record and remember everything through technology.

As much as this is a brilliant blessing of our age, it is also a terrible distraction.

We sit on our phones editing, tinting, publishing and producing our images but often miss the memories that the moments are actually producing.

I am determined with my second child to take brain pictures.

A moment of acknowledgment that I am present, I am remembering and I am accessing the beauty of that very moment.

Not to publish

Not to reproduce

Not to show anyone

But to encourage my beautiful family with the greatest gift, the gift of my attention.

Speak next Sunday.

Remember this week as I am reminding myself to;

Take more brain pictures.

From our baby bubble

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Unwritten

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I am so aware that I am living in unwritten days.

Those quiet ones before a big change occurs.

I have been quiet of late, if I was completely honest a little fearful, a little doubtful and lots of thoughts.

I have been preparing myself for a new person to enter our world, but at the same time feeling grateful for time to process big transitions.

I have been writing my next book a lot more lately, but that means I have been a little quieter on the blog front.

I’ve also been spending less time online and doing my best to be more present for my family who are also feeling the pangs of change in our midst.

A new chapter in our life is about to be written.

I can feel deeply it’s potential and also feel afraid of it’s unknown.

Always seeking
Nearly trusting
Beautifully resting

Life as I know it is about to be undone again.

Excited and Terrified!

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beneath your beautiful

generations of women

I recently was the guest writer on a beautiful blog Tea Cups Too by Em, my post was called Beneath Your Beautiful.

Em is one of the best Mums I know. Her blog shines light beautifully onto the season of motherhood.

Parts of this post are extremely poignant for this Mother’s Day. Link through to this blog and have a read today.

I remember being a teenager (okay maybe young adult) and very early on the morning my Dad was to leave for the airport, I ran up to him and begged that he bring me a Russian doll home.

Legend states that each of these dolls have many smaller versions of ourselves within them. Each doll representing the seed of generation that each of us as women carry within us.

I have never been more aware of this as I am today, (26 weeks pregnant with my second child, a little girl). I am awakened to the fact that she holds the potential to future women in my family within her tiny frame and the lineage continues on.

Woman to girl, little girl, to tiny newborn baby.

I have always been someone who attempts and is drawn to outrageously brave things. Dreaming of writing a book, okay let’s do it, Travelling to the middle east as a 20 year old by myself, check, Leading groups of people into slums in Asia, bucket list item tick!

Despite all this, I have never been more filled with fear and doubt about anything since I embarked upon the journey of motherhood.

Whether you are a mother or not, looking at the generational layers in our hearts and confronting the quiet words that mock us, is an important thought process on this day.

What is beneath your beautiful?

Read the blog.

Listen to the song.

And write and reflect on what your response is.

This will be an amazing exercise to do on a day like today.

Mothers day, can bring out so many different expectations and emotions in all of us.

Happy days.

Deep days.

All my love

Amanda

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Culture of Scarcity

Scarcity one

scarcity 2

Recently I read a quote in Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly and it stopped me in my tracks.

“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didnt get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of… Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack… This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life”

Lynne Twist

I realise as a Mum of a toddler, as a creative inspiration addict, I live in a constant state of needing and wanting more.

How can we constantly create more, when we believe that we don’t have enough?

Being 28 weeks pregnant I could wear this T-shirt with my PJ pants and Ugg boots all day long and be a happy little camper.

 

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The question I have been contemplating though, is when will enough be enough?

When will I have enough sleep?

When will I have enough time?

When will I have a big enough house?

As I contemplate those who are thriving around me, they are the ones who are content with their enough today and are enjoying the moments presented to them.

How do we dream with courage, but be satisfied with the beauty in our today?

As Lynne explains in the quote above we need to question our motives and our complaints. It is easy to say I am so tired, when we have actually had a decent amount of sleep.

It is easy to say ‘I don’t have anything to wear.’, when we have a whole cupboard full of clothes.

It is easy to say ‘I am bored!’, when we are one radical thought away from changing the world.

It is easy to say ‘I am alone, I have no friends.’, when you could take that courageous act and just ring someone for a chat.

We live in a culture of scarcity, that is constantly scrambling to keep up with the neighbours, keep up with our thoughts, keep up with our expectations.

Today I am going to revel in my now and be satisfied with the health of my family and the amazing provisions that I have been given.

I am truly blessed.

I have a healthy family, a loving environment, a safe house, food in my fridge and encouragement on my heart.

Today I have more than enough.

How about you?

Speak tomorrow

Amanda